So as hard as yesterday was, today my was all about thinking about how to manage through this holiday season, with all the increased health issues. This afternoon my other specialist weighed in, my dementia Doctor, he wanted to talk to me about all that is happening, about how I am managing it, its a a lot to absorb , there is so much, yet still so much thats going to be coming my way, through the already challenging time of the pandemic, and the holidays.
We both agree I must continue being vigilant, my ability to manage the covid virus, even having my vaccinations would not be something my body could likely do. I am already very careful, so I will continue to be. The added strain my system is under currently means I will also be managing the holidays differently. I won’t be out visiting or meeting for coffees, lunch etc. I have to manage until The New Year when they will be doing some procedures, so that means, if anyone would like to come for coffee or tea, that will be lovely, thats all I will be able to tackle. Maybe if they manage to get some success with the plan they are busy putting together, spring will be much better. The next few weeks will be the hard part and if and when necessary until then if I need to go to emergency dept, to help get me through till the new year I will. It was good talking it all through with the specialist today. Again I know how very fortunate I am to have this team of incredible doctors working so hard on my behalf. I have a great deal of respect for them.
This week Monday through Thursday, is appointments each day, its exhausting when you are having to fight constant pain as well, the following week I have more appointments taking me right up to the 23rd. So thats another reason for the times around all of that will be quiet. Im not thrilled with the way my quality of life is being impacted, but if I can manage it for the short term so that my quality of life may be better in spring, and maybe more freedom from covid related stuff, then its worth it.
Hope springs eternal, its a time to hope for a little magic to happen. I must keep focusing forward, it will get me through this challenge.
I am grateful to those who do their best to understand how difficult it is and who understand the importance of supporting me in my bid to do whats best for myself.
So although I have a difficult challenge ahead as my dementia and all its complications challenge me at every turn, I have much to be grateful for, and although The days when the pain overtakes me, when i can do little more than alternate between the couch and bed, and the days when I have to let the tears flow, its all part of it. Its actually healthy, So laughter and tears, reminding myself to find joy in all ways I can, and be thankful for after all I am still standing, well sort of.