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Christine Thelker © 2020 Dementia For This I Am Grateful Living well with Dementia Silver Linings

I Keep Pushing

exhausted, but still fighting

I know and my doctor knows, those who are close to me know, that since this time last year and particularly since March, my health has been taking a hit, one thing after another, complex, and complicated, and since the end of September more challenges, so here I am 20 days later still fighting. The fatigue it brings is hard to describe. This time it’s an infection that doesn’t want to let go, it’s painful, and I just learned that it is the most common infection for people with dementia? Yup I’m learning, every day I live with this illness I learn. I’m am showing this picture of what it looks like with Dementia and illness combined, it’s not pretty, but so often the only time anyone sees us is when we’ve spend hours making ourselves at least presentable enough to manage a meeting or do what we are required. the reality is the takes a great deal of effort on our parts and a great deal of pushing ourselves. We push past the pain, past the exhaustion and all the normal struggles we face with our dementia. I’ve always said I didn’t want to make it look like life living with dementia was easy, and that I would never sugar coat the reality, so this is the reality. There is no sparkle in my eyes, there is tired, there is pain, there is a body stressed. I am not stressed, my body is stressed, trying to fight off all the other complications plus deal with the effects of the dementia, it’s a lot for any ones body to do. Compare the picture on the left with the picture on the right when my body is managing it all better, its shocking really even to me.

I’m always learning because I’m always trying to help myself, it’s not always easy, many times I’ve crumbled to the floor in tears, wishing I had a partner who could get me a tea, or and ice pack, or make me sandwich, sometimes it feels too hard, but I push myself, I push hard.


Monday I am going to start an Osteo exercise program, it will be twice a week, it was designed by an Occupational and a Physiotherapist, it’s designed for people with Dementia and has never been offered here before, but I need to regain strength. I am also going to be going to a pole walking sessions, also for people with dementia, The goal with it is to help with balance and coordination. I am thrilled these programs are being offered, I’m not sure whether they will be sustainable beyond the nine week session as the cost comes into play, These are the very types of programs that should be part of the overall program for people with dementia.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

These are the things we advocate for, I’m not sure how or why we have to, if we are kept moving, kept agile, we would sustain less falls, require less hospital stays, maintain our independence for longer, all of which in fact saves the system money, so why are they not part of the plan for people with dementia. Easy answer, there is no plan, with other illness, they help build a plan to help you to recover and live as best you can, with dementia there is simply nothing.

Photo by Anthony Shkraba on Pexels.com

So I will continue to push myself, I will continue to strive to maintain my health as best I can, my doctor says the reality is I’m in year 6 of a 3/8 year diagnosis, that my body is having a harder and harder time fighting all time.

To date there is much talk about what can be done for all living with Dementia with very little tangible things actually happening. After 30 years I think it’s past time that all this changes. Until then I will be trying to regain my strength, so that I can continue to advocate for the very things that are so lacking for all of us.


By Chrissy's Journey

I am an advocate for people with dementia in Canada and globally, having been diagnosed with younger onset dementia myself a few years ago.

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