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Christine Thelker © 2020 For This I Am Grateful Silver Linings

It’s all in a Quilt

This is my treasured quilt, and this is story of my quilt. There’s the reason for this quilt, and for deciding to share the story about the importance of this quilt to me. My husband died in 2005, I was 47 years old, my life shattered in that moment. I often think that I never have recovered ( ok the honest answer; you don’t ever recover), you learn a new way to live, it’s a missing piece that can never be filled. Yes I know you can go on to love and care for another, but the relationship you have with someone new, but it’s it’s own relationship, something totally different. The love shared and the love lost when someone dies remains. It takes a special place in our hearts.
so after my husband died a very dear friend came, I can’t tell you how long, weeks or months, because although I was going through the motions of life everyday, I think I was in a state of being numb for at least a year. Yes I was doing all the things I was supposed to do but I was running on another plane( that’s the only way I know how to describe it, it’s like watching your life from afar, you’re in it but you don’t feel part of it.My friend came and sat with me as I went through my husbands clothes., we talked about the things the two of us enjoyed together, the things that brought memories about our life together, as we talked I would say things like this was his favorite shirt, or another piece would remind me of another time and moment. My friend made this memory quilt out of the pieces of his clothing, added pieces that were representative of our life together, like our love of our coffee time, golfing,, hockey, many things.
The point is that for the last 15 years this quilt has brought me a great deal of comfort, when I’ve had my hardest days, my sad days. This memory quilt is always the thing I wrap myself in for comfort. So I decided to share this story, because there a number of days lately I have needed and wanted this quilt around me. For things are difficult for many, some very good friends have suffered some tragic losses recently, others are going through extremely difficult times, and I wish more than anything that I could wrap them in something that would provide the comfort I get from my memory quilt.
It’s about finding ways and things to do when people are struggling, when people are hurting. So I wrap up in mine, it brings me comfort by reminding me of the happy times, it reassures me. There is many other things besides memory quilts .
This quilt is about more than memories, it’s about love, the love between two people, the love between friends, it is so much more than a quilt. I will be forever thankful to the friend who thought to sit with me in my time of sorrow, talk to me about my much loved husband and then weaving it into something so special.
And with so many people suffering unbelievable losses, whether from covid or other things that come to derail us in life, sitting with my quilt lately has reminded me of how much we need to understand , and offer extra kindness to people.
There is a great many things we can do offer or suggest when the time is right, but things like mommy quilts, brooches set out in a special way too a canvas and framed, a book of photos of special places or times spend together. A small note or letter, framed or set in a coaster. It’s difficult right know for all those going through these living changing and heartbreaking times, and it’s harder because of the pandemic, so I’m hoping this little article will give some the idea on things that may bring some lasting comfort, something that will carry through the coming years. My quilt is well loved after 15 years.
Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

By Chrissy's Journey

I am an advocate for people with dementia in Canada and globally, having been diagnosed with younger onset dementia myself a few years ago.

One reply on “It’s all in a Quilt”

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