Yesterday my doctor called, back to the lab for more tests, sometimes it feels like my life is about appointments, But this is life for many with Dementia, so many underlying health matters. It’s a tangled mess, but at least they try. I will be happy when antibody testing can be done, because I have been sick since March, a few good weeks in that time but more time being sick, feeling like my body is attacking itself, and sometimes I ponder how much is simply being blamed on my dementia because that’s always rather easy answer. However I do have good doctors and my GP I have complete trust in.
so what does that have to do with finding my happy, well I could become despondent or depressed feeling sick so much, but I don’t because I focus on the good moments in the day. I still attend meetings, still present speeches and contribute to the research groups I am part of. I’ve been doing a “ one thing a day” for a while, as my fatigue means my ability to maintain enough energy to do more is not there. But I celebrate what I do manage, and yes I am human and sometimes every once in a while, I get angry, mad, frustrated, because there is much I want to do but my health is hindering me.
So finding my happy is extremely important, and it’s important for everyone, especially during times like those we live in, so much uncertainty for people I am fortunate my mother instilled in me from the time I was a tiny girl that when everything feels out of sync, when you are having times of troubled waters, you need to keep busy. Keep your hands busy, it will quiet your mind. That’s how you find your happy, get busy doing something, do something that has some normalcy to it. Teach yourself something new, something as simple as cleaning out a drawer or closet gives a sense of satisfaction and brings calm, we feel good when we complete something.
So yesterday, I tackled a project, I recovered phoebes window seat, another small bench, a chair and foot stool, and have cut out cushion covers to coordinate, I’m going to change my space around, make it a happy space for winter. This brings me to that happy place.
So even though I don’t feel well, and some days are worst than others I’m always finding ways to bring joy to my life, and it may not be perfect but I did it, that’s what matters.
So during these days when everything around you feels uncertain, and I have to tell you those of us living with Dementia spend most days feel like we are walking on quick sand because everything is uncertain for us all the time, but we are always striving* to find our happy, so get busy and you can too.