Will I ever learn?

It’s one in the afternoon and I’m back in bed, I think I over did it yesterday, a very long walk, which while it was so enjoyable was likely to much for me at this point, and then I suffer a set back. It may set me back for days or if I’m lucky just this one. I will rest, read, watch some Christmas shows and nap my way through the day.
In the past pushing through was the norm for me, but since being sick in March, there is this new piece I am having to learn, don’t push, take things at a slower pace, but somehow on a day when I’m feeling really good like yesterday it’s hard to remind myself of that.
No two days are alike anymore, trying to manage and schedule meetings, finally gave up on the calendar, was always on the wrong day or week, time is a challenge as well, so thankful for all the texts, messages and reminders so that I actually get where and when I need to, it may be all on line but it still creates a challenge for those of us living with dementia.
I wonder why it seems to continually be a challenge for us beings to know and follow what is best for ourselves. We encourage others to, yet we seem to overlook listening to that advice for ourselves. So this next stretch of time while getting stronger and trying to gain endurance to get through a day there will be a focus on not overdoing, Too enjoying the better days, and being mindful of how much I’m doing so that instead of ending up back in bed I can hopefully stretch those good days.

I have learnt to overlook, laugh at and about the many blunders that my dementia creates for me in a day, so know I have to learn to manage this piece, which I don’t believe is being caused by my dementia but rather from ending up so sick in March and dealing with all the things that has brought about since, I will have a conversation I will have with my Internist tomorrow.

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy., but that also comes from being on my own and having to rely so much on self. Another lesson, and onwards I go, I’m still standing.

Today, I’ll enjoy my relaxation day, take it as a day to rest up for a very busy December, which seems funny considering I’m in my bubble of one, but zoom brings a lot of people into my home, for which I’m grateful, for without it the loneliness would become unbearable, so whether a meeting, a webinar, I’m grateful to have those things at this particular time.