Yesterday was 14 years since mom left us, I miss her so, but she continues to guide me, to inspire me and helps me through the rough spots. I am grateful that I had the privilege to be her daughter. She lived a life filled with much tragedy and heartbreak, she was witness to much growing up that no one should have too, but she held onto her zest for life, for finding joy, laughter and for always trying to brighten anyones day who she crossed paths with. She was the one who taught me about resiliency, and being resilient without having to be mean or unkind. That when your heart and mind were weary your best course of action was to keep your hands busy, garden, crafts, sewing, cooking, and doing something for someone else, was the best medicine, when you focused on other things your mind has the ability to sort through the troubled waters. The lessons learnt and taught have carried me through much in my life. I am deeply grateful for the life gifts she provided me.
So yesterday was another quiet day, this is traditionally a quiet week, lost in thought and memories. I have been tending my newly acquired garden boxes at a community garden I just discovered a 1/2 block from home. Securing two boxes for the year, I have been busy planting, and enjoying the walks a couple times a day to water and tend them. It has also offered me the opportunity to meet new people, I have already met three. I have planted some things that my neighbour downstairs who is 95 loves, so I can provide her with some fresh vegetables.
Its been a great way for me to have some socialization without overwhelming amounts of people and or noise, a nice way to interact and get to know new people. This is good for my soul, good for my brain health, great for my overall well being. Fresh air, exercise, good conversations, and gardening. So the benefits are all ready being felt. I am also helping another friend, who is making a big move to England, and so doing things for others is also good for my brain health.
Allowing myself time to step away and reorganize my advocacy work, is allowing me to do things that are not as draining on my brain power, its recharging more each day, my brain fog is improved. I actually am feeling proud of myself for taking the difficult steps to ensure my quality of life remains intact as much as possible for as long as possible. I am responsible for my well being for as much of it as I can be, I may not be able to control the outcome of my dementia, but I can do all the things I have learnt to give myself a fighting chance.
And although this week is or could be a week of great sadness, my anniversary, the anniversary of my moms passing the anniversary of my husbands passing, it is not a week of sadness. it is a week of thinking about many great moments shared with them, its thinking about how much my life was enriched for the time they were with me, its about being grateful for all that was, for all that they were to me, and for all that they will always be to me no matter how much or where my life goes and changes. Yes its a big week for me, but it is a good week, I am blessed and I am grateful.