Racing towards the end of 2021

November is quickly coming to a close and I believe many people are looking forward to having 2021 behind us, I wonder how many of us have actually taken the lessons we have been given. 2021 feels as though it has been a particularly hard year for so many in so many different ways, or maybe its just that we are more aware, paying more attention to those things, I am not sure. I know for me it has been a difficult year, I have had years in the past that have had tragedy, heartbreak, and those times but this year, it has somehow felt more difficult, maybe because we have had almost two years of covid-19, we have endured so much in the way of catastrophic events, and it feels like we are not through the worst of it somehow. Amidst all of this, health challenges, complications, not only for myself but for many others, the year has somehow gone by in record time, like we are in warped speed racing to get too and through to the end of it.

Is it that we are all hoping 2022 will dawn brighter, with so much of the worlds crisis somehow being resolved by the start of a new year. I am hopeful, how about you? I am hopeful that 2022 will see us become kinder and more compassionate and more human. I am of the opinion, that we somehow lost track of the importance of the human element in things, in our race to have bigger and better and more. We stopped looking after our earth, the animals and all that nature supplies us with. Kill the bears, kill the coyotes, kill the wolves, we don’t want them in our neighbourhoods, kill the other animals for they are worth money for their hides and husks and parts. Yet it is us who is on their land, we have encroached into their space, yet we somehow have felt justified in it all because we somehow allowed ourselves to feel superior. We are know seeing that with our seniors, they are disposable, instead of the invaluable pieces of our society, whose wealth of knowledge is so undervalued. They ( this includes me by the way), have become a hinderance, a burden. We are doing it with our most vulnerable, those with disabilities, our homeless, our people who are laden with mental health and addictions. These are all an indication of a society that has little value for life, that is of course unless it is our own, if it impacts us then we want and expect someone to do something because we should not be inconvenienced. These are the things that have made this year seem much more difficult for me, they weigh on me, I wonder what more can I do, I want to be part of the solutions, I am not interested in being part of the problem, I don’t want to sit and complain, I am hopeful that the dawning of a new year will see a renewed mankind, one where life is valued above all else.

Ok onto other things, I have not been writing as much as I did in the past, it is more challenging these days. My health at this state means I have been spending more time in a lying position to keep the blood flowing with greater ease to all areas, I have an inflammatory conditions effecting me, but each day I wake up, I am happy, i am truly grateful for each day, no matter how much I struggle in the day, regardless of the pain, and lately pain is a huge issue, at times it is so intense it takes my breath away. But again I am at a time when our health care system is in total crisis, I am blessed with a great team of doctors who do not let me fall through the cracks.

So although this last week saw me bedridden for the best part of the week, a few short moments of getting out to walk a block or two, then back to bed, I am still going to my Pilates every week and my physio, some days its all I can do to get myself there, but it is an important part of my well being and I am grateful to their willingness to work so hard with me. I am feeling such inner – peacefulness, in part it is because no matter my diagnosis, not matter that things are progressing and changing I still continue to look forward and do the things I can that keep me and my life going in a forward projection.

I am looking forward to spring, I have submitted two abstracts for Alzheimer Disease International Conference in London, England for April, I am looking forward to being part of an in person panel in Calgary Alberta in May, I am looking forward to perhaps an in person in Toronto or some other location in March of 2022, with the Canadian Consortium of Neurodegenerative on Aging ( CCNA) These are all things that propel me in that forward motion. If in fact any of these things can happen, everything depends on covid19 at the moment, and of course my own health abilities.

I am enjoying and hope once I regain strength again from this set back, to my continued work with Dementia Alliance International, also to my work with Dementia Advocacy Canada, to help ensure its continued growth in Canada. Helping at my local and National level is as important to me as the global advocacy work. Making sure our Human Rights for those living with Dementia are upheld. I have other projects, working with Age well, working with Google, all of these things are positive. Although at times it feels like nothing is happening fast enough, it is all things that keep me moving in a forward fashion. I do not want to end up sitting depressed and waiting to die. It would be easy to fall into that fighting pain and continuous ongoing changes, but instead I give myself permission to rest when required, to only do in a day what I can manage for that day, to know that if I have to miss something its ok, I can catch up, that I have to put my well being first so that I can continue to move forward. This is how I stay positive, and as I sit writing this and the snow is falling outside, it too gives me hope, hope that with every winter there will come a new spring. This snowfall is the start of the next storm coming in, I hope that everyone stays safe. I am waiting for my car to come home, but it is held up in the supply chain issue, so I am not sure when that will be, put its tucked in safe and so I can manage and know that it will be ready when it is meant to be.

As November comes to a close, it will be a new month next time I write. As the new month unfolds I hope it brings with us all a renewed sense of hope, and I hope you all find ways to feel the sense of wonder of the season.