Yesterday, I messaged a friend, I hadn’t had a good chat with him for quite a while, he said yes lets do a video coffee chat. He was going to message as soon as he was ready, I was really excited to catch up with him. But then, instead of just sitting and waiting, I got distracted, turned on my music started dancing, then started to tear my living space apart to change it around, which lead to deep cleaning while dancing and singing my through it all. Seven hours passed, it was blissful, I never sat for seven hours, just swaying to the music, cleaning all the while. I then realized I had yet to ear anything so had a little snack, three hours later I looked at my phone as i was getting ready for bed, there was the message from the morning from my friend saying he was ready for our phone chat. I messaged my apologies right away, especially since I had entiated the chat. He understood, but its just shows how I no longer have a a great deal of being able to stay focused. I laughed at myself, nothing else to do, we will try this week again.
Then this morning, oh what a day, I got up got ready for the day, there on the counter was the peanut butter, that damned peanut butter from the night before, I had wanted to have a peanut butter sandwich for supper, the problem with peanut butter, its all natural, the oil comes to the top, trying to get it stirred was ridiculous, impossible.
So this morning I decided I would but all the peanut butter through my blending machine, somewhere in the i decided I would turn it into cookies because, then the peanut butter would no longer create stress, a simple three ingredient recipe, got all the ingredients out while the peanut bitter was happily spinning around. Have you ever tried to get peanut back out of a blender, oh my gosh that damned peanut butter was to much to bear. I thought just walk away, leave it for now. So I thought I need to go to the store, it was something I really needed, but had been putting off, so off i go, and then for 40 minutes sit in the car trying to recall what it was, finally though well I’m here I’ll look for a frying pan, no idea why that came to me, but while looking for a frying pan, I realized I was needing feet for my chairs, by the time I got home, I was late for a forgotten meeting, tuned in for part of it leaving saying I had another to attend, except I had all the times wrong the other one was just ending, oops more blunders.
So I eventually made it to my last meeting for the day, then I turned up the music to dance, and as I danced there it was the damned peanut butter, so I thought thats it your done, and I danced my way through making cookies, my friend called said what are you doing I said dancing and making cookies, she said omg, she said you don’t even eat cookies, I said I know but the peanut butter had to go, just so happens she loves peanut butter cookies, she will come Wednesday, and you can rest assured she will go home with peanut butter cookies.
We laughed about it, She said whats wrong with you, I said I have no idea, I have no idea why Im doing anything Im doing, we laughed some more, she said I have no idea either, I responded maybe its my dementia, we laughed some more, laughter is truly the best medicine.
Years ago i remember taking courses about ” don’t sweat the small stuff”, well dementia teaches you in quick order those lessons so when nothing works turn up the music and dance.
“I’m not done yet” has been my motto since the start of this dementia journey, it still applies, theres still a lot of dancing left in me.