I would like to thank all those who have emailed and sent messages to me on the loss of my sister.. I know many of you are wanting to know if I am Ok, I Am as ok as I can be ar the moment, . I am planning on starting back to things this week, not fully, but starting, I need some time , but the support is and has and will help get me through these days.
My sisters passing has effected me in ways I have no words for, I have lost my husband, my mother, many many friends. I understand grief, I understand that the grief you experience is greatly impacted by the relationship with the person, its why in one family every persons grief will be different, because their relationships with one another are so unique unto them.
I know it will come in waves, like the tides moving in and out, I know it will forever be there, that it will hit at unexpected moments, right now I am still numb.
Yesterday I reached for my phone to tell her I was home, because that was the first thing I always did, It brought tears, I know and feel within myself that I am needing to just let go and let it all out, and I will, , there have been tears, there are moments, but part of me is holding most of it in, in part because, I am almost afraid if I let go I won’t recover from it. I wonder in part if thats what happens when you have just had to much loss, if there becomes one that is the one that is just too much.
The loss of my sister, I am forever changed by it.
So thank you to all for your kindness and understanding, I appreciate you all very much.