Today, I wrote a letter resigning from the board of Dementia Alliance International. This was a very difficult letter to write, it was one that came after weeks of wrestling and wrangling with a lot of things. I have in a number of recent blogs wrote about having a heavy heart and having things weigh heavy on me, and that I was being called to get grounded, to get reconnected with myself. Part of that meant allowing myself the time and space to hear that voice that guides you if you quiet all the noise and chatter that comes at us constantly. To allow our inner voice to be heard. It is not always easy to do, we bargain and even try to reason and justify things to be the way we want them to be even when that inner voice is trying to tell us something different. It’s been a lot of emotional turmoil. But today I resigned because I knew it was the right thing to do. It was the right thing for me, which means it is also the right thing for the organization. We can at times believe they couldn’t manage without us, whether that be a job or within an organization, we can at times let our own attachments to it cloud our vision, make our selves feel like we need to be there we need to stay, they need us to stay, or it needs us to stay. But if we peel away all the things that convince ourselves of and truly hear the voice that should be guiding us that voice that comes from within, then we would know when it’s time to step aside make room for others to step in and up, and allow ourselves to do things in other ways and avenues that can be just as valuable. We must also look at how things are impacting our overall well being and when things start having to big of an impact on our well being we have to be willing to take the step back.
It is all of these things, like the perfect storm colliding, that brought me to make this very difficult decision. I never spoke to anyone about it, I never talked it through with anyone, for i knew that if I did my decision could be clouded or changed, and I needed to be clear and listen to my inner voice.
I love DAI and all it’s members and all that it represents,I have spent three years on the board, working hard, I have spent longer trying to represent DAI well in every interview I have given, in every article someone interviewed me for always giving DAI credit for lifting me up, helping me find my voice, for helping me be a better advocate and a better person.
I am and will always be grateful, I am still a member who will work hard to represent support DAI in every way I can, I will just be doing from a place within the membership not from within the board. I can still use my voice wherever and whenever to promote DAI, I can still mentor others, I can still encourage others to get involved. I just won’t have the operational component as well. it may in fact turn out that I can be more effective as a member than as a board member.
There is a lot happening for me, health wise, personally, and I have had to take stock of how much I can reasonably put in and where and how. Scale back in some areas, do things differently in others, stop some things altogether. But one thing I have come to realize of late and when listening to my inner voice is that I have not been giving enough time to myself, too my well being, to doing those things that fill my heart with joy. If I don’t give as much time and devotion to myself as I won’t be able or have anything to give to things like DAI.
I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do or if I was going to do anything but I new if I listened, I would know what to do at the right time, That voice came to me clearly at 945 this morning, and by 10 I had written my letter of resignation and sent it to the board members, and as soon as I hit send, I knew it had been the right thing to do. Next month is the AGM, it’s the perfect time to set the stage for new faces to step into roles on the board. It will be exciting to watch and see as they help carry DAI into a new era. I will always be around to assist, to mentor. I have the greatest respect for the organization and the people within it who have brought so much to my life, and I say thank you for all you given, I truly hope whatever small part I have had that it has and will continue to leave a positive mark.
It’s time for me to think about what my life needs to look like for me for the next while.