Eight days Out

Tonight is my eight days out from my 2nd covid shot, I’ve done so much better today, although easing into things, I managed to reply to three emails, but everything will eventually get done as I can manage it. I’m grateful for the support and understanding of those waiting/ needing or wanting things from me for their patience. Hopefully each day this week will allow a little more.
There is also a lot of underlying stress, with fires burning all around so close to our town and homes. It is a heaviness and weariness everyone here where’s right know. It is a very scary time here for us in the west. I have been very emotional the last two days, I think the tiredness of my body from being so sick, and the stress of seeing fires erupting in every direction, has my emotions running high, so earlier just as I got a message about another fire my girlfriend called from another province and wanted to come and rescue me and get me out of here., as soon as I heard her voice I burst into tears. I felt better after talking to her.
The other thing I realized was that I really have zero tolerance towards selfish people right know, normally I try to show everyone kindness and compassion to try to be understanding, I never try to judge people, however, when planes and helicopters are grounded because someone selfishly decides his right to fly his drone trumps the community at large safety and the safety of those fire firefighters, then the very next day seeing they are having trouble getting onto the lake because of interference from boaters and paddle boarders, again creating so much unnecessary and totally unneeded risk to so many.
So for whatever reason maybe because I feel like I was just starting to feel like I could move around a little when the heat hit, then the fires started, then I got sick, feels like I’m in the middle of a third pandemic. Maybe being forced to remain at home on my own is somehow going to be a blessing in disguise, but I am monitoring my stresses and finding ways to alleviate it, I’m also sure as I’m feeling stronger I will manage it all better, after all even I am only human.
I was thinking I would be feeling guilty about not being busy advocating and doing all the stuff, but sometimes just managing the plate in front of you at the moment is all your supposed to do. It’s these times, things like the fires, figuring out an emergency route out of town if need be, taking care of all that stuff, when it really hits you how truly difficult life is alone, dementia or not, life is tough on your own, and I think as we age the more we realize it, but we are also realistic enough to know sometimes that’s what your dealt. I was wondering about that. You know why did I come to earth, to bear so many traumas, to feel so much crushing heartbreak 💔, someday when I’m sitting with all my angels I’m going to be asking a lot of questions.
Tomorrow I will manage whatever I need to, it’s 730 pm, I need to sleep now.