Its been a busy week by all accounts, considering two months ago I was barely able to be out of bed, but the business was not at any kind of pace I would have done even just a couple years ago. Physically 6 1/2 weeks, since my Moderna injection, how my immune system operates within my body better than has helped me feel better than anything I can remember , and I am still holding strong. To be without pain, to be without all the inflammation allows me to do much that has been on hold or cancelled for a long time now.
It has also given me the ability to be more aware of the things that I am and how much I am being effected cognitively. My moments that I call squirrel moments are more prominent., staying oriented to day and time is near impossible, without all the reminders i have coming in at a steadily all day everyday, I would never get anywhere on a day or time I am meant to, none of those things are really important, because the tools are there to navigate them. It can and does cause me quite a bit of reasons to laugh at myself. Starting something, getting distracted by something else, changing gears from this to that and back again. Again its just things that I hadn’t really noticed or taken stock of for a while in part, because I was just in survival mode, from all the physical illness, so now I am taking stock and some days I spend a lot of time squirrelling. It’s very evident that not having brain fog for the last six weeks has also contributed to my ability to notice these things. So thats the update on how that piece is going.
Can’t believe that we’ve arrived at another Saturday, time really does seem to be moving faster than I am. Yesterday saw my second time dipping my toes out into the world, I went for my first official hair cut in over two years, Ive been chopping and hacking away at my own since the start of the pandemic. while the hairdresser, new to me, was deciding how and what would be best to do, she asked how I managed to cut the back, I cringed thinking oh no, I can only imagine what shes thinking looking at it. So I showed her, she said well she could never imagine doing it herself but that I had actually done a pretty good job. when she got to the top and sides,I said I’m sorry that you have to deal with this mess, she said well actually I was just thinking that you did a pretty good job texturing. Oh my I burst into laughter and said oh thats great I had no idea I had textured it, i was just doing what i deemed a cut and hack. So my hair is all trimmed up so that it can eventually be a style she has in mind.
The tiptoeing out into the world is something I think many of us are doing cautiously, and we should all do it in ways that are comfortable for ourselves, and we should not judge others as our levels of comfort are all different. There are some things I am still not comfortable with but at least I am stepping out bit by bit and finding my comfort levels.
So now that Ive squirrelled another morning away, time to get up and dance. Enjoy your weekend, find the joy, despite the obstacles, enjoy where you are and who you are in this moment, for this moment truly is all we know we have.