So many thoughts rattling around all night long, so today I am writing a mish – mash of it. We are already heading into the last week of another month, lighting speed, I’m still trying to figure out what the year will look like for me and if I don’t soon, it will be gone before I’ve had the chance, and thats ok, I don’t mind just drifting and letting things unfold, sometimes giving things room to come into our life or leave brings about some very special life moments, so I’m just going to drift for awhile and see what comes.
We have seen a very beautiful February weather wise, normally February is the month I struggle the most with, but this year it has been extremely kind, lots of sunshine, even today it says its going to snow, but instead mother nature is providing beautiful sunshine. I have just returned from a lovely walk. Had a lovely chat with a gentleman who was so happy that the month has been so kind and allowed him lots of days to be out enjoying his short walks, he reminded me that we need to be grateful for what we can do, whatever our abilities are today. It is the thing I have enjoyed most since my new found ability to be out of bed, and not be so fatigued is the conversations found along the way. My daily walks, offering me the opportunity to meet folks I otherwise wouldn’t, the ability to enjoy the interaction, seeing peoples smiles.
Sometimes it’s so easy to get wrapped up in whats going on in and around us that we forget to remember the very good and basics that we have, that many others do not. This puts undo stress on us, creates hardships that shouldn’t be there. So today I made the decision to take a break from Facebook, yes my blog will still go out on my facebook page, and people are of course allowed to share it if they wish, but other that that I am taking a break from my personal page and Facebook in general.
There is much unrest within our own country, and globally, and I have been watching friendships disintegrate, its all very sad to me and I don’t want to be part of it. People seem to have trouble respecting someones opinion if it is not in line with their’s, and the inability to do that is causing great damage, and the best way to not get caught up in it is to walk away from it. Having discussions about differing opinions are actually a good thing as long as it is respectful and not trying to dis-qualify someones opinion if it doesn’t fit with yours. There seems to be a lot of anger and I think some of it stems from people being unable to manage their mental health in difficult times. Sometimes you have to draw a line, so I have drawn that line for the next while.
I am hopeful spring will allow the warmth of the air and sun on peoples faces to give everyone a chance to just breathe, to let the anger and hatred go. In the meantime I will look after my well being, I will enjoy all that I have to be grateful for.
We often talk about the vital role that others living with dementia play in our lives, they understand us on a level that only those who live it can. This is not unlike any other illness, people who have walked through the cancer journey, or the MS. journey are other examples can and are great supports to each other. But we also talked the other day about the importance of the importance of our non dementia friends and how vital they are to us. I do believe it’s true and that having a mixed group helps keep us balanced and not swallowed up by one or the other. Living with Dementia is hard work, it can be draining, having our non dementia friends lets us put our focus on something else for a time. Both are uplifting and I am grateful for all that I have in those friendships and connections, sometimes not easy for them to be in my world, sometimes not easy for me to be in theirs but we are all willing and my life is rich because of them.
I’m spending a lot of time listening to music and doing and trying different types of crafts, today I’m going to be trying water doodling, which was a gift from a dear friend, and doodling seems like a relaxing thing to do. So stay tuned for pictures of the trial of water doodling. My second book is nearing completion, I am not rushing it, I will know when it’s complete.
Unrest everywhere you look and yet here I am happy and content thankful for each day I am given. I like how simple my life has become since my dementia, the simplicity feels good, there was a time that I felt somehow cheated out of so much, because my career ended, financially I took a huge hit, so much is very hard at times, depending on how my body is behaving, but I have learnt to go with those things and times, and just look for the simplest joys and I find I am very much at peace with it all. In some ways it has given me many gifts that I would not otherwise have and inner peace is one of the biggest. I don’t have to fight and strive for more, I can just enjoy the day, having the ability to just laugh and be silly something I am truly grateful for that right now. Whether something gets done today or not no longer matters, as long as I am doing something that makes me happy.
Soon Spring will be here and I will be able to get my happy hippee shorts out, maybe I will create another pair or add more colour to the ones I have already created, they make me happy. I hope you can all find the things and do the things that make you happy. Happiness is there for us all despite all, we just have to reach for it. Life is hard it picks us up and slams us down, it gives and it takes, but we all have to decide whether we let it swallow us up or find inner happiness and peace.
Chrissy's Journey 