I have to Thank my sister in law for making sure I saw this, and it so good I had to share it. But what does that have to do with half in or half way out, well so much of our life is based on what we can and can’t control, how we manage that aspect of things in our life. A lot of it has to do with our perception of things, for example some people see June has halfway into the year while others see it has half way out till the end. We can’t control any part of it, only how we choose to see it, I choose to look at it as being fortunate that I’ve had a pretty decent go for this first half, especially compared to last year. I am grateful half way in and not one hospital stay, thats pretty unheard of for me , touch wood.
There is many things I can’t control, how much I forget now, understanding and knowing how much I have changed, all by things out of my control, but I can control how I feel about that. I can not control how or when my dementia and other related health issues will decide to ramp up or down, I am in control somewhat of managing how I react to those changes, at least for now, there will likely come a time when I may not be able to control that either, that is the nature of my dementia.
I can control my environment, ensuring as little drama and stress come into my world, very important with this illness. I can manage my nutrition, my exercise and my sleep, although my sleep patterns change and are not always within my control, it is monitored though, and when it changes making sure I adapt so that I can and do get enough rest are important.
I can not control how others view me, I can give them information, but ultimately, they are the only ones who can control how they view me or anyone else with dementia. We are always trying to give people information trying to stop the stigma around dementia, but ultimately, thats all we can do, give information, hope their hearts and minds are open to receiving it and reshaping how they think.
Thats what advocating is, giving, sharing information, so people can perhaps have a different understanding. It can be frustrating, often many advocates feel as though they are not being heard, that changes aren’t happening fast enough. But we cannot control that all we can do is give the information, the rest is not in our control.
I am thinking about this as we are approaching the start of Alzheimer Disease International conference in London. I had two abstracts accepted, one had to be done in person the other I had the option of in person or by pre recording. I choose to pull the in person one, I will keep it for another time, and I did a pre recording of the other, which they will play. Although I was saddened to think that I would not get to see some people I have not seen for a long time, and or have the opportunity to meet others face to face for the first time. I new that it was not the right time for me, something I could and do have control over, so I chose to forgo and perhaps will attend the next one in person. So knowing it was 100% my decision allowed me not to be sad, but to be proud of myself for doing what I knew to be right for me.
Sometimes when the world seems out of step as it does now, when life feels upside down, we need to remind ourselves to take a step back acknowledge all those things and how they are making us feel and then refocus on looking at the things that are within our control.
For me I am much happier when I look at things through that lens instead of being upset and angry about all the things that are out of my control.
What is in my control at the moment is being grateful, that sitting halfway out to another year ending and I am still maintaining being on my own, I have scaled back a lot of things, I live a super quiet life compared to my pre dementia life. I control how much and what I do each day, that is in my control. I have the ability to say yes or no, and can do it without guilt. Those are all things in my control. I am happy here, it becomes easier and easier to be happy here.