Category: Stress

I have for a long time had issues with trying to get to an appointment and or meetings etc on time.

Something that pre- dementia I never did, I was always ready early arriving early, very exacting with my time and timing.

Over time since my diagnosis, that has given way to even with reminders they are not always enough. Dates, Days, times all get mixed up, reminders are forgotten sometimes as fast as they pop up.

But for a number of months now things have changed again, and I try to understand it, I try to make sense of it. Some times when I try to explain it to someone it feels as though I don’t make sense to myself so how can I possibly expect any one else to understand what I am talking about.

Yes, people will say yes time does seem to be going fast, or no time seems to be dragging on, but it’s not that it’s either for me, it just is. I wake up, get up, then the day is over, It might be 5 in the morning and then its three, 4 or 5 in the afternoon, I can’t understand how thats possible, I have yet to eat anything, sometimes I have yet to have a shower, because I think I have lots of time. When I look at the clock and see the time, I then look at my calendar, as if it may somehow help fill in the blank, it does in the sense that it shows me what I have done, but it all feels like a big void.

A vastness of nothing, I can’t seem to describe, it doesn’t make me unhappy that, thats whats happening, it doesn’t scare me or frighten me. I feel like I try to stare in this vastness of nothing and try to understand it, understand how one can get from there to there without something to frame it all in, but there is nothing. It’s not lost time, because evidently I am still here, I am still very much alive, but I have lost all connection to time, or to what we are supposed to know as time and time perception.

So I did some research and below is a couple of good papers, there are too many to list. I had no idea that there was such a connection to time perception and dementia and other illnesses. I also had no idea there was so many studies about it. Another fascinating aspect of our brain and all it gives and takes. It’s not one of the things we discuss a lot for some reason, maybe because like me we don’t even now how to begin to talk about it in a way that makes sense. And even as I write this I wonder if it will make sense to anyone.

It is another part of that living in the moment that is often talked about in relation to people who live with Dementia. It puts into a real literal sense.

I wonder if it was happening for longer than I realize put that its only since so many of my other health issues have quieted that I have actually been able to be aware of it. I am not sure, these days I am not sure about a lot of things. All that has happened to my system since January has made understanding any of it near impossible. So just being happy in it is about the best I can do. I am enjoying learning more about myself, my dementia, what it can be on any given day. That in itself sounds very strange that one could actually enjoy learning about something that is considered such a devastating diagnosis. I am fascinated by my own brain, how strange is that.

So time for me only matters in the sense that people set days and times for meetings and things and I somehow manage to attend most, with many reminders, there is little else where it actually matters. So I go from Monday to Monday knowing that whatever happened in the vastness of in between, I can only hope that I have been kind, and found joy in all that vastness.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8616021/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4830363/

Yesterday was a lovely Monday, and you wonder how can that be possible with all the strive in the world right now. No, I don’t live in a false sense of reality, the complete opposite actually, I stay informed, then I get on with my day, staying grounded, leaving room and time each day to find joy, to listen to the sounds of nature, breathe, just breathe, and every day I dance. After getting the current information on what is happening, I put my music on and I dance, and I dance the day away, while I am doing things around the house. Its good exercise, it sends feel good endorphins through my body. I attended two meetings which were both great and up-lifting.

I had the most lovely visit with my doctor. Yes it was what one would classify as a Doctors Appointment, but I call it a visit, because it felt more like a visit, we had a lovely chat, he told me that one of his patients had told him they were at a presentation I recently did in Lake Country and how wonderful they thought it was and how helpful it was for them. Knowing that trying to make a difference and hearing that you actually are is sometimes all the inspiration you need to get through the rough patches.

We caught up on his family and life, and mine and then talked about my health, as I have had the few attacks of pain, I being afraid that all the good I have seen since my Moderna shot was maybe or had peaked and I was starting to see a return of the many issues and complications prior to , it was a frightening thought, but I have not had any more fatigue, the inflammation has not returned, my blood work is worth celebrating it is so good, still no brain fog, we laughed at that, dementia is still and will always be bubbling away, but for the moment I am having less challenges that in recent years, although so new challenges emerge. Its on going, it will always be ongoing, but I feel strong, I feel vibrant, I feel energized, like I have not in many many years, if ever. So whatever the Moderna Vaccine found in my immune system and changed, it is a gift beyond measure. The attacks of pain I have had over the last week or so we discovered during my visit with the Doctor, is muscle issues, and while talking to him, and him wanting me to start a daily magnesium regime, I remembered that I always took it, but somehow, when I had all this drastic changes, and was feeling so good, I had stopped so I in essence had created this situation to happen. So back on the Magnesium combined with Calcium. Because my appetite has decreased so much, I may not be getting enough Calcium so hopefully that will resolve the issue.

This morning I woke at 5 am, up watching daylight come, morning coffee, showered, and ready for the day by 7 a.m., getting ready for a 9 a.m. meeting, I am excited about it, its a project I am working on, more will come about that in time. My volunteer/and friend will arrive shortly, its wonderful how these new found friendships happen, I appreciate all her help and mostly enjoy the visits so much. So a busy morning, then I will go for a bike ride if it is warm enough, just a short little first ride of the season. I am so glad I am feeling well enough to do that.

It is International Women’s Day, I look to the women of Ukraine who are taking up arms, who are staying and fighting and helping their people in ways that most of us cannot imagine. Being separated from their children, husbands they are the women I want to celebrate today. They are the reason I must remember to be grateful, for I am in this moment, safe, warm place, why they fight fights we all hope never to have too. Women around the world have time and time again, shown their resolve, their strength, their resiliency. I am fortunate to have incredible women in my life, who have taught me, inspired me, and today I still have many women who are inspirational, and role models. I have worked alongs side many of them, I still work along side of so many of them. Most of us don’t have to look far to find women we admire. So to all the women out there take a moment to acknowledge your value, your importance, you matter, each and every day, not just on International Women’s Day, but each and every day. Treat yourself today and lets all think about all those women in Ukraine and other countries like Afghanistan and many other countries around the world, lets celebrate them for their bravery, for their determination lets keep them all in our thoughts and prayers but remember to celebrate you and all those women close to you today as you go through the day.

Happy Women’s Day to all the Women of the World.

I was sitting today thinking about our brains, how what we feed, it feeds us, that is both literally and figuratively, our brains need healthy fats and lots of them to function properly, it needs rest, exercise, both physical and mental. It is the hub, the mainframe of the control centre of all housed within our bodies. If we feed it negative thoughts we start living that, if we feed it positive energy and thoughts thats what we live. This is true regardless of, or if we have cognitive issues or not.

Living with Dementia does not mean that what I give my brain doesn’t matter. It just means that I must be doubly mindful of what my brain requires to operate at its best ability despite it being hurt. Thats how I choose to view my brain, like any other part of my body, that has injuries, if my kidney’s don’t function I take good care of them, if I break my leg I take care of getting it looked after and to heal. My brain not ever be able to heal, it may get worse which is expected with Dementia’s, but it is hurt, yet still it is my greatest asset.

I was thinking a lot about this after attending a couple of meetings this week, of course the talk was about Putin’s Invasion on Ukraine, we all live in different parts of the country and world. It really stood out how it didn’t matter where any of us were from, we were all being effected. Normally at these meetings we don’t discuss politics or religion, this however, is exceptional circumstance. This I believe is not political, in the sense we often think about, republican versus democrats, Liberals vs. Conservatives this is about something much bigger. Every one shared their concerns and fears, it is an emotional time for everyone. Everyone is effected to varying degrees, but everyone is effected.

I brought up my thoughts on how our brains can be our greatest defence during stressful times, or our greatest weakness. How teaching ourselves how much to feed our brains and how often, how keeping ourselves grounded was important. We talked about how important it is to talk and share ones feelings, keeping them bottled up can create internal stress, and managing stress is so important for everyone, and know one nows that better than those living with any type of Dementia or other Cognitive challenges. Truthfully, anyone one with any type of illness needs to pay extra close attention to keep there stress levels in check as much as possible during times like these and those who do not have any health challenges its important to them as well so they stave off illness, because stress loves sneak in to create and take advantage when our defence systems are down, our weakened and stress weakness our systems.

Some people feel it is a weakness to cry, to show or be emotional but in fact it is one way our brain helps us to process and move thorough and beyond things instead of having it sit inside of us, where it causes havoc on our health. So these groups and meetings are in some ways seemingly more important than even they were during the pandemic, it allows people to discuss, to share, to be emotional in a safe place and with peers that offer support to and for each other. That is the same support and grace we should be offering to all we come in contact with, we should do this always, not just during times of great uncertainty, but everyday, but never has it been more important than now. Love, Caring and Sharing, kindness and Gratitude, may we not take each other for granted.

This beautiful Saturday Morning, the sun is shining as spring approaches ever closer. Somehow this morning as I sat to sip my first coffee it or I seemed to be much more aware of how wonderful it tasted. Maybe it is in part because I feel so very centred, I watched the updates on Putins invasion of Ukraine. I put my Casting Crowns Music on and took myself to that place deep within, staying centred is so important to me at this time, it should be all the time, but like everyone else we get busy with the things that are important to us and in our business we forget to stay centred. It’s easy to do, it’s not wrong, it’s just something that happens. But this morning and all this week really, being centred has been at the top of my list, being grounded in what is really important. This song by the casting Crowns, reminds me of all the lives being lost needlessly in Ukraine, hoping that the people of Ukraine can someone find peace again, that soon the horrors facing them will be over.

Listening to this music helps bring me to my centre. It reminds me to think about how much I have to be grateful for, I can go to bed each night with no worry of bombs raining down on me, I have food in my cupboards, I can go walk about each day freely, without worrying about bombs falling from the sky.

I am hearing people complaining about the price of gas, the price of food, the price of everything on the rise and now on the rise more because of Putins actions. One man, along with his inner circle, creating havoc world wide. People need to complain I guess, it’s human nature. But we all need to take a step back and understand until Putin is stopped, all of the ways it effects us will only grow. We live in a time when the world is connected, that what happens anywhere effects everywhere. And although, it is in our nature to want to place blame and complain, we need to be mindful, and perhaps give ourselves a pinch and remember, that yes maybe we have to alter how we do and what we do, but we are not starving, we don’t have bombs dropping, we are not fleeing the horrors of war. Its ironic that we complain about our governments what they are doing, what we think they should be doing, but then when something like the invasion of Ukraine happens we want that same government to fix everything so we are not inconvenienced, so we can go about doing what we want to do. But what is happening right know is going to inconvenience us, it is going to be tough for the coming time.

We must all understand that we must all work together to stop this man and his reign of terror. This man cares not about his own people, he cares not about you or me, he cares about power, he is dangerous, I struggle to understand how he has been allowed to continue being in power. I am convinced he will not stop at Ukraine, he will and does want all of Europe, this is just the start unless he is stopped. I do not like violence, but sometimes there is a struggle between Good and Evil, and I believe this is one of those times, and I hope Good can prevail. Before we end up in another Great Depression, before we end up in world war 111, I have heard it said that it can’t happen, I don’t believe that to be true, it feels like we are at a tipping point.

These are just all my own thoughts, not all will be aligned with my thoughts and thats ok, I own them, they are mine, I stand by them. I pray, I cry, just like everyone else, and then I remind myself to be grateful. To centre myself, to be supportive in any and all ways I can to all those who are so deeply effected. I don’t have much, I have had to deal with many losses, give up and readjust my life, many times since I received my diagnosis of dementia, but I am fully and acutely aware of how fortunate I still am. If I had a way fo getting someone here to safety, I would happily give up my bed for them, feed them. My family survived Hitler’s reign of terror they came here and build and gave us a life that I am grateful for, so I understand that saying it can’t happen, is not what history teaches us. I am a realist, I don’t run and hide from things, I acknowledge them, I can talk about them, I can admit to my own fears about them. I work hard to stay grounded, to be aware, do to whatever small part I can and I pray. I know many don’t want to have to talk about it, or how its effecting them, but talking and sharing things is a wonderful way to help each other through difficult times, so support each other, and to remind each other its ok to look for and find the laughter and the joy in little things. I am hoping for brighter days ahead, and, hoping we can all dance in the streets and rejoice that this invasion has ended and the people of Ukraine can be home and safe once again and the healing and rebuilding can begin. I hope when that day comes the whole world plans a day of celebration. I hope as you go about your weekend, you keep a good perspective, walk instead of drive if you can, stretch the meals, help your neighbours. Sending much love to everyone everywhere. It’s time for my morning walk, to remember how grateful I am to be able to do something so seemingly simple.

Heres a little history:

The Great Depression was a severe worldwide economic depression that took place mostly during the 1930s, beginning in the United States. The timing of the Great Depression varied around the world; in most countries, it started in 1929 and lasted until the late 1930s.

The Depression affected virtually every country of the world. However, the dates and magnitude of the downturn varied substantially across countries. Great Britain struggled with low growth and recession during most of the second half of the 1920s. The country did not slip into severe depression, however, until early 1930, and its peak-to-trough decline in industrial production was roughly one-third that of the United States. France also experienced a relatively short downturn in the early 1930s. The French recovery in 1932 and 1933, however, was short-lived. French industrial production and prices both fell substantially between 1933 and 1936. Germany’s economy slipped into a downturn early in 1928 and then stabilized before turning down again in the third quarter of 1929. The decline in German industrial production was roughly equal to that in the United States. A number of countries in Latin America fell into depression in late 1928 and early 1929, slightly before the U.S. decline in output. While some less-developed countries experienced severe depressions, others, such as Argentina and Brazil, experienced comparatively mild downturns. Japan also experienced a mild depression, which began relatively late and ended relatively early.

There is much we can learn from history, here is just a few dates:

World War II Major Events Timeline

• November 11, 1918. World War I Ends. …
• January 30, 1933. Hitler Appointed German Leader. …
• September 1, 1939. World War II Begins. …
• September 17, 1939. Soviet Union Invades Poland. …
• September 27, 1939. Warsaw Captured. …
• December 13, 1939. UK Wins War’s First Sea Battle. …
• April 8, 1940. …
• May 10, 1940.

History has much to teach us.

It looks and feels ominus outside, misty fog, low light, its typical spring weather, but somehow it doesn’t feel that way. One wonders if perhaps the pandemic was just somehow a lesson for us all, to learn how to manage and teach us coping skills. To be able to manage what is happening at the moment. Prices soaring, many things difficult to find, many things just not available at all right now. The people of Ukraine might be the ones taking the direct impact of Putin’s invasion of their country, something most of us cannot even fathom, but it is impacting everyone around the globe and every day that it goes on we will feel those impacts more. More uncertainty for everyone, uncertain times. Breathe, Breathe just Breathe, take time each day to do self care. Walk, cry, yes crying releases stress, get extra rest. Be more mindful of the stress others may be feeling, offer more patience, more kindness. Find a good source that you feel is reliable to get your information from and get updates, but don’t sit watching it all day. Limit time on social media, mental health is really important during uncertain times.

On other fronts, yesterday was my first attack of pain in 8 weeks, thoracic region, so severe I couldn’t move, this after the night before having some type of brain event, very likely a TIA. I was in bed early, which I haven’t had to do for many weeks. I decided not to ignore it and listen to it, and rest, today I woke up feeling great again and some residual discomfort but not pain. As soon as I finish writing this I’m going to be turning up the music and do my dancing which I did not do yesterday because of the pain. I have to think it was just a blip a reminder to make the most out of this gift I have received back in January, finding the joy, even when things around us are upside down. Even when our world is turned inside out, finding the joy.

I’m working on some very specific projects right now as far as my advocacy work goes and thats enough at the present time, because for a number of years my advocacy work took up all my time, every day, all day, and advocating is important, but remembering to live is important too. Often we get so wrapped up in what we working on that we forgot to put just as much time into enjoying our days, putting pressure on ourselves to do more, when in fact we should be effort into slowing things down, taking in all that is around us. Taking time to have enjoy a cup of tea or coffee, listen to the birds sing, the rustling of the leaves in the trees, lapping of water up against the shoreline. Remembering that the work will happen, without us pushing ourselves beyond what is healthy amounts of time and energy, recharging takes time too, and the longer we go without recharging the longer it takes to recover and rebalance. Never has that been more important than now when we are living in such uncertain times. For most of us, our parents or grandparents lived through war and depressions, we have had years of little hardships in comparison to what they endured, but it appears the last two years was just a test. I pray daily that this invasion will end, I fear it’s just the beginning, I look to the past for guidance, and pray for the future.

My musics on, its time to dance, then pull out the umbrella and go for a walk and count my blessings for they are many, and I want to be mindful that despite dementia, despite many contributing health factors, I am blessed, I am free, I have much compared to many.

As you go about your day, I hope you can find a reason to smile, laugh and count your blessings.

I was up early this morning, I had a loaf of bread proofing overnight, it needed to go in the oven. My sister in law was going to be here by 9 am to help me work on getting family history stuff done, which has taken on more of an importance at this particular time. Yesterday I had a teary day, I think just a lot of emotions running right now. Understandable, expected for most everyone, two years of a lot of uncertainty, followed by the invasion of the Ukraine, by Putin. I don’t say by Russia, because the people in Russia are rallying against it, they are paying the price for a man whose need for power trumps anything and everything. It’s creating a new level of stress for people, and I am sure its what created this urgency for me to get these records put into the family history site, most records especially from those who were from Germany where destroyed so the fact that my grandmother, Uncle and mother were able to keep them hid away and safe tells me they must be preserved. Dating back to the 1800’s, it felt good to get the information inputted and knowing I had done my part to preserve their history.
I have been feeling physically really well limiting time on social media/ news etc. Ensuring I keep my mental health in check, but then this afternoon out of nowhere, I found myself standing in the middle of the room, no idea how long for, no idea what I was doing or going to do. I have felt off the rest of the day, wondering a small TIA, nothing that requires medical interventions, just a brain thing, first one since the beginning of January. Maybe I am feeling the stress of all that is going on and been pushing beyond what i should be. I feel fine, just a blip, physically feeling great, so because everything for me is vascular based, just a blip, maybe I needed that reminder.
I have also been thinking a lot ….. update, had to leave this last night, needed to sleep, another indication of the blip, but this morning I am feeling refreshed, and hoping it was indeed just a blip. So back to those other thoughts, thinking a lot about how for many if there was help, resources and rehabilitation, In those I include things like programs, music, art, dance, walking, hiking, biking, baking, cooking, the list goes on, along with the more traditional rehabilitions, physiotherapy, etc. Accessibility to these types of programs, enhance quality of life. The constant focus on ”memory loss”, I cant believe after all the years of advocating, we are still there, no wonder the stigma remains. And why is that, is it because it has become the comfortable place for people when it comes to dementia..? Well I for one am tired of people being comfortable with the old outdated views. Vision problems, speech, gait, pain, fatigue, just to name a few. I hate trying to trying to justify my illness, every dementia has its own complexities, its as individualized as we are. The brain the most complex organ, so when a disability stems from this very complex organ we need to somehow and someway get the focus to shift away from just the memory component and focus more on all the other aspects that effect those living with dementia. For many living with dementia, what effects that we feel today and affect us may not be the same ones that effect us tomorrow. We are flexible and adaptable out of necessity, we need others to be flexible with us. Some days I don’t want to do dementia, some days I just want to do life. I have to live with my dementia every day, but I don’t want it to be all that my life is. My advocacy work is deeply important to me, makinf a difference is deeply important to me, but living, living is equally important to me, doing things I enjoy, laughing, crying, taking in all that I can while I can. Its a struggle so often, to give myself permission to put the dementia banner away for a spell and wave the living life flag. Today, as my heart breaks for the people of Ukraine, its a stark reminder that despite whatever challenges I face I need to remember to live today fully.

We are I think, at least many of us, feeling vulnerable, emotional, sad, scared, unsure of anything. We are still coming out of a pandemic, which has turned us inside out, never knowing when or if the next wave was coming, being isolated, trying to be safe, to keep others safe. People have had a hard time emotionally and mentally trying to manage it. just as we were feeling like we were slowly getting our feet under us, and then last night Russia attacked the Ukraine we are outraged, sad, scared, we know what this could mean, this is the closest to a third world war starting that we have ever seen. It is a normal response to living with more uncertainty.

Finding ways to deal with the stress that often we don’t think are even impacting us. We are more apt to have less patience and tolerance of others. We may be more tired, feeling teary and emotional or sad.

These are all normal reactions to unusual events, but it doesn’t give us free rain to act in ways that cause more stress or anxiety for others. We must all try to offer extra space, extra kindness and extend grace to one another. We all have to learn how to destress in times like these, go for a walk, practice deep breathing, gardening, anything that allows your body and brain to stand down.

I many think that the war doesn’t really effect them because its on the other side of the world, but its implications and effects can and do effect many right here at home, many still have family and friends there, lives are impacted, sometimes directly and sometimes indirectly, war effects us all. A point in fact is my own family, here you will see documents of which I have many, my family, for so many all these documents were destroyed during the second world war, I am fortunate to have so many of ours, but did the war impact me, not directly but indirectly yes, the effects of living in Germany during the war left deep scars on many of my family members, my mother included, I never had the chance to meet or know my grandfather, two of my Uncles, one of which had a huge impact on my life were prisoners of war, released in 1945 and 1947, they forged new lives here in Canada, as did my mother and grandmother.

I’m showing all this in hopes that we can all remember, we will cross paths with many as we go about our days, who, you many not even now how this crisis is impacting them, remember they may be having an emotional response that they would not normally have because of abnormal things impacting them.

We all need to extend kindness, and I know people are sick of hearing that, but in all honesty, the last couple years, it’s the kindness that has enabled me to get through this pandemic and it will be kindness that helps me navigate whats coming. So please lets extend that extra bit of understanding, lets not take it personal if someone is reacting in ways we think they shouldn’t be, kindness and understanding may be the one thing that helps them.

Give people permission to talk about it, over understanding, people aren’t always looking for answers or to be told they are right or wrong, they just need someone to understand how they feel.

My heart is heavy.

The protests here in Canada, “The Freedom Rally”, was, in my opinion. not about fighting for our Freedom. We never had our freedoms taken away. We were not dragged from our homes and forced to take a vaccine, we were asked and given the choice. We have a public health crisis, we have been asked to protect ourselves, our families and our communities. We had the right to refuse, we were not arrested if we didn’t. We had safety measures put into place to wear masks. Again we didn’t have to but for the greater good we were asked to. Other health measures were put into place, again for the greater good. If we didn’t want to comply we didn’t have to. We had the freedom to choose, but we were obligated to live with the choices we made.  It meant those who CHOSE to not comply could not access certain businesses, stores, restaurants or countries to protect the many from the few. We were asked to live with the consequences of our decisions. Freedom does not mean we can do anything we want any time we want. This infringes on other people’s freedom. We live in a civilized country where we have laws in place that allows us ALL to have a maximum of freedom for everyone. 

Any protest that contains firearms and ammunition is not a peaceful protest. A peaceful protest does not block highways and prevent people from going about their business. It does not set up semi trucks, travel trailers, hot tubs and businesses in the middle of the street. If rival invasions happened in the neighbourhoods of the Freedom Rally occupiers and blocked them from their homes and streets, would they want something done? Protests should not break laws. They should park in legal places and march to a legal venue and sit or stand in a legal area. Illegally shutting down highways and borders is taking away the rights and freedoms of many others. You can’t fight for something and take it away at the same time and expect the larger part of the population to support you. Putting children front and centre was irresponsible. The people in this country have made many sacrifices over the last two years; we all have had to make choices and live according to the choices we make. Each province and territory has managed the pandemic in the way it deemed best for the majority of its people. A rally that began as a fight for a freedom that was never lost, seems useless.  The rally instead cost the economy millions, not to mention the millions it will cost to clean up the mess they left behind.   You weren’t fighting for my freedom,  you were fighting to avoid the consequences of choices you freely made. Sorry, no support from this girl. 

I don’t care if you believe in vaccines or not, I don’t care if you get vaccinated or not, you live with the choices you make and don’t cry foul when it inconveniences you. Your actions show a sense of entitlement, arrogance, and lack of compassion for your fellow citizens. The irony of waving the flag.

The final piece of this for me is your idea of overthrowing the government. The people of this country voted for our leaders, if you don’t like it, be patient and get out and vote for someone else at the next election. Better yet, why don’t you run for public office, get involved on local or provincial levels where you can affect real policy change. And if you want to protest, do it in a way that does not fly in the very face of what you say you are protesting. I hope we can all get back to loving one another, being kind and compassionate.

So many thoughts rattling around all night long, so today I am writing a mish – mash of it. We are already heading into the last week of another month, lighting speed, I’m still trying to figure out what the year will look like for me and if I don’t soon, it will be gone before I’ve had the chance, and thats ok, I don’t mind just drifting and letting things unfold, sometimes giving things room to come into our life or leave brings about some very special life moments, so I’m just going to drift for awhile and see what comes.

We have seen a very beautiful February weather wise, normally February is the month I struggle the most with, but this year it has been extremely kind, lots of sunshine, even today it says its going to snow, but instead mother nature is providing beautiful sunshine. I have just returned from a lovely walk. Had a lovely chat with a gentleman who was so happy that the month has been so kind and allowed him lots of days to be out enjoying his short walks, he reminded me that we need to be grateful for what we can do, whatever our abilities are today. It is the thing I have enjoyed most since my new found ability to be out of bed, and not be so fatigued is the conversations found along the way. My daily walks, offering me the opportunity to meet folks I otherwise wouldn’t, the ability to enjoy the interaction, seeing peoples smiles.

Sometimes it’s so easy to get wrapped up in whats going on in and around us that we forget to remember the very good and basics that we have, that many others do not. This puts undo stress on us, creates hardships that shouldn’t be there. So today I made the decision to take a break from Facebook, yes my blog will still go out on my facebook page, and people are of course allowed to share it if they wish, but other that that I am taking a break from my personal page and Facebook in general.

There is much unrest within our own country, and globally, and I have been watching friendships disintegrate, its all very sad to me and I don’t want to be part of it. People seem to have trouble respecting someones opinion if it is not in line with their’s, and the inability to do that is causing great damage, and the best way to not get caught up in it is to walk away from it. Having discussions about differing opinions are actually a good thing as long as it is respectful and not trying to dis-qualify someones opinion if it doesn’t fit with yours. There seems to be a lot of anger and I think some of it stems from people being unable to manage their mental health in difficult times. Sometimes you have to draw a line, so I have drawn that line for the next while.

I am hopeful spring will allow the warmth of the air and sun on peoples faces to give everyone a chance to just breathe, to let the anger and hatred go. In the meantime I will look after my well being, I will enjoy all that I have to be grateful for.

We often talk about the vital role that others living with dementia play in our lives, they understand us on a level that only those who live it can. This is not unlike any other illness, people who have walked through the cancer journey, or the MS. journey are other examples can and are great supports to each other. But we also talked the other day about the importance of the importance of our non dementia friends and how vital they are to us. I do believe it’s true and that having a mixed group helps keep us balanced and not swallowed up by one or the other. Living with Dementia is hard work, it can be draining, having our non dementia friends lets us put our focus on something else for a time. Both are uplifting and I am grateful for all that I have in those friendships and connections, sometimes not easy for them to be in my world, sometimes not easy for me to be in theirs but we are all willing and my life is rich because of them.

I’m spending a lot of time listening to music and doing and trying different types of crafts, today I’m going to be trying water doodling, which was a gift from a dear friend, and doodling seems like a relaxing thing to do. So stay tuned for pictures of the trial of water doodling. My second book is nearing completion, I am not rushing it, I will know when it’s complete.

Unrest everywhere you look and yet here I am happy and content thankful for each day I am given. I like how simple my life has become since my dementia, the simplicity feels good, there was a time that I felt somehow cheated out of so much, because my career ended, financially I took a huge hit, so much is very hard at times, depending on how my body is behaving, but I have learnt to go with those things and times, and just look for the simplest joys and I find I am very much at peace with it all. In some ways it has given me many gifts that I would not otherwise have and inner peace is one of the biggest. I don’t have to fight and strive for more, I can just enjoy the day, having the ability to just laugh and be silly something I am truly grateful for that right now. Whether something gets done today or not no longer matters, as long as I am doing something that makes me happy.

Soon Spring will be here and I will be able to get my happy hippee shorts out, maybe I will create another pair or add more colour to the ones I have already created, they make me happy. I hope you can all find the things and do the things that make you happy. Happiness is there for us all despite all, we just have to reach for it. Life is hard it picks us up and slams us down, it gives and it takes, but we all have to decide whether we let it swallow us up or find inner happiness and peace.